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If you want to find, attract, and keep the woman of your dreams.
Or if you already have your dream girl and want to make sure you don't fuck it up...
... This email is for you.
Because I'm going to share one of the most powerful frameworks for understanding what women really want and how to give it to them.
And it starts by understanding:
The problem most men face in relationships isn't that they don't want to show up for their partner.
It's that they don't know how.
And it isn't their fault.
Because––despite what our PC culture tells you––men and women are fundamentally different creatures.
We experience the world through a different neurological lens.
We speak different languages.
And few of us were taught how to speak the language of the feminine.
The good news is...
Developing fluency in this language is simpler than most guys think.
And it starts by understanding the three "Attraction Triggers" that are hardwired into every woman on the planet.
For a woman to experience and maintain attraction, three criteria must be met.
When she feels unsafe, unseen, or not understood...
... Resentment builds, attraction fades, and eventually, the relationship dies.
The good news?
By understanding these three driving forces you can start, save, or rebuild almost any relationship.
Let's dive in.
For most of human history, women have generally been physically smaller, weaker, and less powerful than men.
As a result, nature hardwired women to crave safety and security at a level most men can't understand.
Both physical safety––feeling protected, provided for, and safe from physical harm.
And psychological safety––feeling certain in her partner's commitment, leadership, and skills.
When you consider this from an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense.
For hundreds of thousands of years, if a man abandoned his partner, failed to provide, or lacked the discipline and drive to overcome obstacles...
... It didn't just mean discomfort, it meant death.
And even though most women don't need protection from saber tooth tigers or rival tribes, this same evolutionary need still runs the show.
Without feeling safe, attraction isn't possible.
While developing physical strength and practical skills are important.
The most overlooked practice for creating safety inside of your relationship is Authentic Vulnerability.
This isn't about wearing your heart on your sleeve or crying with your partner when you watch The Notebook.
It's about letting her into your inner world, sharing your truth, and being honest about your thoughts, feelings, and desires.
When you:
She can't trust you.
She doesn't know if what you say is congruent with what you feel.
And because she feels unsafe in the relationship, attraction starts to fade.
The solution?
Tell. The. Fucking. Truth.
It isn't weak to admit that you're overwhelmed or scared––as long as you're committed to solving the problems.
And it doesn't make you an asshole to say that you don't like a certain outfit or don't want to eat at a specific restaurant––if you deliver your opinion with love (and provide an empowering alternative).
It makes you honest.
And this honesty builds the foundation of trust your relationship needs to endure.
The second Attraction Trigger––feeling seen––is even simpler than the first.
Women want to feel like they're a the priority in your life.
And at the simplest level, we reveal our priorities by where we place our attention.
The more attention you offer to your partner, the more seen she will feel.
Practically, this looks like:
And when you can't offer her your undivided attention because you're fighting off Wooly Mammoths, defending the Kingdom, or filing TPS reports?
Communicate or compromise.
This could look like giving her five minutes of attention during a short break from work.
Or it could be explaining the stressors you're experiencing and scheduling time to connect once you're done with work.
But the bottom line is this:
Without consistent attention, relationships are doomed to fail.
For most men, this is the hardest of the three triggers.
Because it's in direct opposition with our nature.
As men, we're solution and action oriented. We see a problem, we fix a problem.
When we encounter an uncomfortable feeling or emotion, our first reaction is to ask: "What can I DO to fix this?"
The feminine is the opposite.
Before she can think about––much less take action on––a solution, she must first experience and express her emotions.
And most guys fuck this up.
They respond to their partner the same way they would respond to one of their male friends.
But what she really wants is to feel understood.
Even if her emotions are objectively unfounded and illogical, she still needs to express them, share them, and feel validated in them.
The good news?
This is actually easier than most guys think.
She doesn't need you to solve her problems––at least not right away.
She needs your presence. She needs you to hold space. She needs to feel all of the messy feelings so that she can do something about them.
Practically, this can be as simple as sitting down, holding her for a few minutes, and giving her space to vent and share––without judging her emotions or making them wrong.
Hold her. Listen to her. Hold space for her.
And when she's expressed everything she needs to express, she'll be ready and receptive to the myriad of solutions you've been holding back for the past 20-minutes.
That's all for today.
The Founder of ManEvolved and the creator of The Unbreakable Experience––a system that's helped more than 10,000 men turn the pain of their breakup into the power they needed to rebuild their life.
I've been working in the men's personal development and relationship space for the better part of a decade and I've had the good fortune to study the principles of human psychology, relationship dynamics, and peak performance under some of the top authors, entrepreneurs, and thinkers in the world.
Today, I use these principles to help high performing men level up every area of their life––mind, body, money, and marriage.
I'm a guinea pig who lives what I teach and I've applied the same systems I share to beat addictions, generate millions of dollars in the market, transform my marriage, and achieve huge personal goals (like traveling the world, running marathons, and competing in BJJ).
