Most guys suck at relationships.

And it isn't their fault.

Because no one ever taught them how to find, attract, and select high quality partners.

And it's not like any of us went through "Relationships 101" in high school

(But we all know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell––so there's that).

As a result, most guys end up going through the same damn cycle over and over again.

• Find woman.
• Fall in love.
• Lose woman.

Repeat forever.

And those are the lucky ones.

The rest end up settling for a shitty relationship that isn't bad enough for either person to leave––but sure as hell isn't good enough for them to stay.

The problem?

Most guys don't understand the fundamental mechanics of human behavior.

They're playing a game without understanding the rules.

So they end up in the penalty box over and over again wondering what the fuck they're doing wrong.

Luckily, it doesn't have to be this way.

And there's ONE simple principle that, when applied, can immediately improve your relationship game and help you break free from this vicious cycle for good.

Let's dive in.

Understanding the 6 Core Human Needs

Even though we like to think of ourselves as special and unique little snowflakes, we aren't.

We're all driven by the same core forces of nature and evolution.

We all come "pre-packaged" with the same core needs and desires.

Specifically, all of us have six core needs that we must meet to live a full and rich life.

They are:

1. Certainty: The basic need to know that we can avoid pain and experience pleasure
2. Variety: The need for novelty and new experiences
3. Love & Connection: The need to feel close to and cared for by other humans
4. Significance: The need to feel important and special  
5. Growth: The need to improve and expand
6. Contribution: The need to give back and make the world a better place

When all of these needs are met, life is fucking awesome.

When only 1-2 of these needs are being met, it kind of sucks.

And the same is true of your relationships.

The quality of your relationship is determined by the degree to which you and your partner meet these needs for each other.

And when relationships start to break down?

It can always be traced back to this framework.

For example:

• If you consistently fail to follow through on your word or refuse to be vulnerable and share your experience, your partner doesn't feel CERTAIN in you or the relationship
• If you get into a rut where there's no passion, no excitement, and no adventure, she doesn't experience the VARIETY she needs inside of the relationship.
• If you fail to hold space, appreciate her, or give her your undivided attention on a regular basis, she doesn't experience the LOVE she craves
• If you try to "fix" your partner or solve all of her problems for her, she doesn't feel SIGNIFICANT in the relationship

And down the list we go.  

But the inverse is also true.

When you can meet each of your partner's needs at a level 10/10...

... She becomes addicted to you.

There isn't a snowball's chance in hell that she'll leave because all of her needs are being met at the highest level.

But here's where things get tricky.

Understanding Her Needs  

Even though we all have the same core needs...

Each of us value these needs differently.

Some of us have a higher drive for variety and significance.

Others a higher drive for love and certainty.

And what's more?

Even if we have the same hierarchy of needs, we each have unique vehicles that we use to meet our needs.

For example:

Even if two people value certainty above everything else:

• One person might meet that need for certainty through their job.
• Another person meets their need for certainty through relationships.
• And another meets it through addictive behaviors like drinking, smoking, or choking the chicken

Or if we look at the need for variety:

• One person meets their need for variety through travel
• Another through taking on bigger challenges in their career
• And another through dating multiple people      

The challenge inside of relationships is:

1) Identifying WHAT needs your partner values most

2) Identifying HOW you can meet those needs inside of the relationship.

The most powerful thing you can do?

Share this framework with your partner and openly talk about how you can better meet each other's needs.

Stop guessing and trying to figure it out on your own.

And instead have regular conversations about what each of you need.

It won't always be easy.

And there will be times where your partner says shit that you don't want to hear.

Just like there will be times where you say shit that she won't want to hear.

But if both of you can leave your egos at the door, listen to what the other person has to say, and then take action on what you learn?

Your relationship will never be the same again.

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